They say things happen for a reason. For a very long time, I wanted someone to recognize that they were wrong about me. I just wanted the people that caused so much pain to my children and I to simply say:    "I am sorry" or "we were wrong" or "we did not understand how hard it was for you"  But I know I will never hear any of these words.  For a long time, (too long) it hurt that the people I loved as my own family, would believe things that were not true. And then, also, do things to intentionally cause pain to me.  

The year before the final divorce, I entered into a series of "Consent Orders" with my ex-husband and through his attorney. (He was never present in person) She thought I was influencing him, and she made sure he was never at any meetings or hearings where he could talk to me) None of the consent orders were of my benefit, they were related to my agreeing to waive use and possession of our home, and other issues they refused to negotiate.  I agreed to "Consent Agreements"  to keep from having a court hearing where the Judge would have made the final decision.  In my strange way of thinking at the time, I thought that every time I did that, (agreed to what they wanted without a hearing) that they would see that I was trying to do the right thing, and that they would understand that I wasn't the enemy.  I was protecting them from a full hearing in a courtroom,  where I would have had to tell all the things that had happened, and why our marriage was so broken. I thought I was protecting everyone from the pain I had felt.  I was trying to do what was best.  Also, logically, I thought it would save both of us money on attorney fees. (I NEVER wanted to have the courts involved in any aspect of my life to begin with)  IF they had not hired the attorney (especially an attorney who disliked me as much as they did), I know the outcome would have been much different.

Ok, I got off subject. I am thankful because what happened made me realize that I am lucky.  I am lucky I wasn't born and raised in this family.  They chose to believe what they did because it made them feel better about themselves. It kept them from having to admit they were wrong.  I am thankful I don't think the way they do. I would never have assumed what they did about anyone unless I had seen it and heard it in person. I am thankful I can say I am sorry, I was wrong, and I love you when I should.  I realize now, in the over 30 years I knew them, I never heard any one of them say any of these words, ever to anyone. 

It is always easier to blame someone else, and I was the one to blame. I realize that there was nothing that I could have done that would have changed what happened. 

I am so thankful I do not think the way my ex-husband (did) and his family do.  I'm not better than them, and I am not perfect.  The difference is that I am honest, I don't lie, not even to protect myself.  I can live with what I tried to do, and I know I wasn't to blame for what happened. It doesn't matter what they think or believe, I know the truth. And, I am thankful I learned it is OK to do what is right for myself.