Saturday, May 18, 2013

Forgiveness and the Puzzle

Over the last seven years, I’ve been working on forgiving the people I need to forgive. If there is something I could compare what it’s like I’d say it’s similar to a large colorful jigsaw puzzle with too many pieces to count.  One day, it’s a perfect picture and the next day it’s in a zillion pieces all over the table again.  You sit down and start matching the colors and fitting the pieces that match. Some of them don’t match so you give up and walk away from it for a few days.  In the meantime, someone bumps the table and the pieces that were together are on the floor. You sit down and start over. Every time, over and over, and each time it gets easier to remember where the pieces went. You get angry, but you get over it quicker each time. Sometimes it takes a lot longer to regroup. You get further each time you have to start over. Some days, it goes really well, and you get more and more of the puzzle together.

Once in awhile, when you have it figured out, someone bumps the table really hard, and you again, have to start all over. Sometimes it’s just a small “bump” and it’s no big deal.  Either way, you go back and start over or start where you stopped. You keep going, you don’t give up. Over and over and over, until one day you have it all together.  There will always be those puzzle “lines” or “cracks” so you have to start gluing the pieces now.  The times you go back and start over are less and less. The end result gets more real and tangible; you can see clearly, eventually it will be finished.  Totally finished, all the pieces are in the right places. It’s never perfect, but in time, you forgive and forget and you don’t have to keep going back to start over or finish it.  The “cracks” will always be there.  Forgiveness is always a work in progress.  Just like a huge jigsaw puzzle.  It takes time, and it takes percerveriance and it takes a lot of work.  

Anyone that has spent time with me in person on a regular basis, (I think) knows this is how it’s been for me.  I am thankful for all my friends and family, who watched me and listened to me every time someone “Bumped” my work in progress and I had to go back and start over. I’m thankful you never told me what I needed to do; you were there to give me ideas, you were there to offer a way to make me walk away for awhile to forget about it.  You never judged me, you never stopped being there, and you let me figure out what I already knew.  I think you all know who you are. We all learn life’s lessons differently, some of us never learn. Some people never have a huge jigsaw puzzle that get’s “bumped” over and over. Some puzzles are easier than others, and so it goes with everyone’s own life.  What I do know is that I didn’t do it all alone, every one of my friends and family were always a part of my puzzle, (or with me on the way to learn how to forgive).  Yes, if you are wondering, why the heck didn’t I move the damn puzzle to a different location where it wouldn’t have been bumped?  I couldn’t, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t change tables, my every “move” had to be reported and approved.  I don’t have to do that anymore.  I can move my table and my puzzle anywhere I want now.  It will be much easier to keep the puzzle in one giant full picture, even with the cracks, it will be safe now.

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